Chapter 315: Why Did We Become Like This
hy" The woman flicked her lips a few times, ultimately swallowing the question tinged with protest back down into her stomach... As long as she was good, it wouldn't hurt again... "...Hmm.""All the p...Jian Tong stood before the gate of Mo Bai, lingering for a long time. Finally, she stretched out her hand and pushed open the gate.
"I don't eat." In the house, on a sickbed, Jian Mo was pale and emaciated. These days, he lived in anxiety, the desire to survive making him struggle through pain.
But it hurt so much, and as time went by day after day, I became increasingly hopeless.
Struggling in the grip of illness and despair, he yearned to live, to savor the pleasures of lights, wine, and revelry, to return to carefree days of the past.
Mrs. Jian wept day and night. Jian Mobai couldn't bear to see someone crying by his side all the time, sighing and groaning. Recently, Mrs. Jian fell ill, but Jian Mobai let out a sigh of relief. He was finally able to get rid of the person who constantly sighed and moaned in front of him.
Only the housekeeper would come to deliver food. Mrs. Jian, heartbroken for her son, hired the best nurses, who took turns working around the clock, 24 hours a day, to care for him.
Jian Mo Bai had seen enough of the four white walls of this room. When he was awake, he would watch the scenery outside the window. His once spirited eyes were now only dim and gray.
The door creaked open, and he instinctively thought it was the housekeeper bringing something. His body was weak from medication and prolonged chemotherapy, his taste buds long gone. Everything tasted bitter.
Now, he would only open his mouth to swallow food if his stomach was painfully empty.
Because he was too weak, he didn't even want to speak.
Not to mention, if someone pushed the door open, he was willing to turn his head and take a glance.
Jian Mo Bai leaned against the bed, gazing out the window.
Until a shadow fell across his bed.
Although weak and unwilling to waste even a shred of energy, his thin face still faintly revealed his annoyance.
Yes, weary, weary of these hale and hearty ones, and all those with their concerned faces... If he could, he'd rather be the latter – healthy in body, and then go about with a look of pitying sympathy for others.
"Get out." Jian Mo's breath was weak, faintly irritable: "I'm sick, okay"
"If the body has been ill for a long time, is the heart also sick"
A gruff female voice, faint and distant, rose.
Jian Mo Bai seemed to be stimulated, his whole body stiffened visibly.
He slowly turned his head, just from the window to the bedside. It was only a forty-five degree angle, a simple calculation learned in elementary school mathematics, but his expression underwent a qualitative change.
Lifting his head and looking at the figure by his bedside, he smiled wryly after a long pause: "Are you here to see if I'm dead or alive"
By the bedside, the woman remained silent, not uttering a word. She silently pulled over a nearby armchair and sat down beside the bed. Her gaze swept past Jian Mo Bai's back. She rose, picked up a pillow from the sofa, and with a tug, pulled Jian Mo Bai's upper body. Without a word, she placed the pillow behind Jian Mo Bai.
"What Sympathy Pity"
Jian Tong looked at the person on the bed. Her sunken cheeks, staring for a long time, could only faintly see the handsome features from before. If she just glanced over, she could hardly find the former Jian Mo Bai in the crowd.
She reached out her finger and lightly tapped on Jian Mo Bai's patient uniform button.
"What are you doing" he asked, his lips pale and drawn tight with apprehension.
The woman took Jian Mobai's hand from her back, gently but unyieldingly unbuttoning his shirt. The collar fell open, revealing a faint scar on his shoulder. Though healed, it still left a ferocious scar.
"Do you still remember, how this scar came to be" the woman's rough voice, slowly arose.
Jian Mo's white shoulders trembled, the scar that Jian Tong's fingertip rubbed against burned hot, making him instinctively want to dodge.
If you're here to reminisce, forget it. I'm almost dead, do you want to talk about the past with a sick person
Jian Tong ignored Jian Mo Bai's sharp and sarcastic words, gently stroking her fingertips, completely ignoring Jian Mo Bai, and continued to say to herself:
When I was a child, my grandfather was still around, and I grew up in his presence.
“Are you going to show off how much more your grandfather favored you Jian Tong, your grandfather is dead, and you no longer have that doting grandfather.”
The woman continued speaking, ignoring the cutting words.
Back then, I envied you.
My parents loved me dearly, but when I was little, I didn't understand anything. I thought that because I did something wrong, they didn't like me.
So I tried my best to be outstanding. I thought if I was better than you, then Mom and Dad's attention would shift from you to me.
Actually, I'm quite foolish. My grandfather said that I'm smarter than him, but I don't believe it. When you were playing, I was studying. I didn't know what was useful and what wasn't.
Back then, whatever I saw, I thought I had to learn it. Once I learned it, I would be excellent. And if I was excellent, my parents would love me just like they love you.
That's how I think, and that's how I do it.
But later, as I got better and better, I realized that my parents liked me less and less. That's when I understood... actually, my parents didn't want me to be so outstanding.
I don't accept that. You're Dad and Mom's child, and I am too.
I refused to accept defeat, so out of spite, I made myself even busier like a spinning top, learning more and more things.
I still comforted myself, what does it matter, my parents don't love me, but I still have my grandfather.
Back then, my grandfather was the most important person to me.
For a long time, the only way I felt valuable was through my grandfather's approval. It made me feel like I belonged in that family, that I was loved and cherished.
It's not that no one loves me.
Until one time, one time, grandfather said, actually, your brother is smarter and more talented than you. And I saw the expectation in grandfather's eyes for you. That's when I realized, grandfather doesn't love me the most.
But what does it matter, Grandfather loved me, that's all that counts.
Jian Mo Bai went from disbelief to gradually listening quietly.
In the ward, only that hoarse female voice remained, speaking her story in a slow, yet rhythmic cadence.
"But I hate you even more. I thought it was you who took away my mom and dad. You already have your own parents, why do you have to come and steal my grandfather too I only have him left."
The woman spoke as if it weren't her own story, she seemed like an observer, recounting someone else's tale.
"Do you remember this scar, how did you get it" she looked up, her gaze falling on the scar that had turned brown. She lightly touched it with her finger.
Jian Mo was too weak, his face as pale as paper, his lips moving. After a long while, he managed to say, “I forgot…”
Beside the bed, a woman chuckled softly: “When I was in elementary school, I hid my family background and got bullied by older students after enrolling.”
Later you found me, and you dragged me to your bedroom. You were so rough, ripping off my clothes and exposing the scars underneath.
Jian Mo Bai, only then did I realize that your way of treating wounds is so good.
You helped me treat my wound, then slipped out of your room.
I'm afraid if you tell Grandfather, he'll be disappointed in me and think I'm useless.
As a result, I was terrified all day. When I saw that my grandfather didn't scold me, I believed you hadn't reported me.
Later on for a long time, I came home with injuries every day and you would catch me every day and take me to your room to treat my wounds.
The tip of her finger pressed lightly on Jian Mo Bai's shoulder wound: "This scar of yours was caused by fighting with street thugs. You were injured to protect me from that knife. After that, I felt that my brother was very capable and would protect me."
Little Tong asked the Little Mo Bai across from him, "Do you remember what you said when you were fighting"
Jian Mo's eyes flickered.
Jian Tong continued:
"You said: Only I can bully my sister, nobody else can."
The woman finished her statement.
On the bed, Jian Mo Bai bit his pale lips tighter.
"From that moment on, I didn't dislike you so much anymore. Because I knew, I wasn't only loved by my grandfather, it turned out that I also had a brother who would protect me."
Jian Mo heard this, his shoulders trembled. He didn't know what he was thinking about, but a strange emotion appeared in his gloomy eyes. He suddenly buried his head, almost burying it into his chest.
"We used to get along so well." Jian Tong looked at the person in front of her. There was a sentence stuck in her throat, her eyes gradually turning red. She choked out the question: "Why did we become like this"
Jian Mo Bai suddenly clutched the sheets under him, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.
It's strange... I haven't eaten anything, yet my mouth tastes even more bitter. He stared blankly at the bedding on his body, his eyes glazed over.
"Where did the one who said no one could bully my brother go"
"That I once thought, was my guardian angel's brother. Why do we change so much as we grow older"
Jian Tonghong's eyes were red-rimmed as she asked, even after experiencing setbacks, she had never cried. Even after just experiencing Shen Xiujin's deception, she could still maintain the most basic grace.
Jian Tong also felt strange. Even though she had become indifferent, even though she was a master of controlling her emotions, even though she had long since become cold and emotionless, why were her eyes red
"Your grandfather gave you everything," Jian Mo said after a long silence, his breath weak.
Jian Tong stared into his eyes for a long, long time...Was it because of the money
Because of power
Because of wealth and honor
"I'm actually jealous of you, too." Jian Mo Bai was stared at by those eyes, filled with emotions he couldn't accept. A shiver ran down his spine, and finally, he uttered the feelings that had been buried for decades:
You say my parents love me dearly, but every time I see how Grandpa personally guides you, even though I am the eldest son of the Jian family, in Grandpa's eyes, there is only you, not me.
I am a playful child, and my grandfather does not stop me. You play for a while, and my grandfather will already nag me.
So I became even more mischievous, wanting Grandpa to pay attention to me.
I just don't understand why Grandpa is so good to you but ignores me like that. As I get older, I care even more about Grandpa's attention and guidance towards you. He never taught me things like that himself.
The older one gets, the more envious they become, and you're completely oblivious to it.
Jian Tong's eyes flickered with surprise. This was the first time she had so quietly set aside any prejudice and earnestly listened to Jian Mo Bai pour out his heart, which he had kept hidden for so long.
Until Jian Mo Bai finished speaking, a hint of light irony appeared in Jian Tong's eyes:
You're wrong.
My grandfather didn't give me everything.
My grandfather, when he was alive, warned me more than once, "Jian Jia, your brother is Jian Mo Bai."
When my grandfather gave me 'The Only Love', he said, 'You can do whatever you want with The Only Love. If you can make it big, then you'll have a place in Shanghai.'
If you fail, you'll only have one dowry.
I won't give it to your family.
This is what my grandfather used to say.
Jian Mo Bai couldn't believe what he heard.
He suddenly raised his head and looked at the bedside. He touched that familiar face, with the same unhealthy pallor as his own. For a moment, he saw Jian Tong, who was eighteen years old, full of spring breeze, rosy cheeks, confident and flamboyant... That was his sister!
"You...knew about your grandfather's feelings a long time ago" Jian Mo's Adam's apple bobbed slightly: "Then why would you still care about your grandfather, even after his death, still returning here from Erhai because of him"
Jane Tong lightly raised a smile, but her eyes held an uncommon tenderness as she gazed at Jian Mo Bai:
"Because of me, there's only my grandfather left. I know that my grandfather's love came at a price, but I still enjoyed it immensely. And only after his death could I truly understand the reality and keep deceiving myself."
Her eyes flickered with a light that Jian Mo Bai couldn't understand, so complex: "Rather than never having experienced any love, I would rather deceive myself."
Jian Mo's white pupils constricted sharply. At this moment, after years of separation, he was once again in excruciating pain for the woman before him, his sister whom he had once viewed as a thorn in his side.
The little girl didn't say, she once thought she would protect her brother, but forgot the promise she made to her sister. All that was left was jealousy towards her sister, and under the influence of jealousy, she deliberately ignored her sister... Jian Mo Bai suddenly closed his eyes.
The scar on his shoulder, hot and burning, had become just another mark, like the other scars from fights he'd been in over the past decade. Just a scar.
Today, it hurts even more than when that knife was first plunged in.
Jian Tong took a long look at Jian Mo Bai on the hospital bed. His cheeks were sunken, his eyes tightly closed, and he was grimacing in pain. After staring for half a minute, she slowly took out her phone from her bag and opened it. A string of missed calls and numerous text messages popped up.
At a glance—it was his.
She glided silently across the screen, tapping on her contacts list. That number was burned into her memory; in reality, she didn't even need to open the contacts list.
With a light tap on that number, two rings echoed, and a voice came through, "Ms. Jian, hello."
"I want to ask, what are the chances of finding a suitable match for my brother's bone marrow transplant"
The other party was silent for a moment before replying in a robotic tone: “Mr. Jian’s outfit pairing, we are still fully pursuing it, Ms. Jian. We believe that as long as we don't give up, even until the last minute, there is a chance to turn things around.”
"Ms. Jian cares so much about her brother, I believe a miracle will happen."
Jian Tong drooped her eyelashes... Believe in miracles What's the difference between that and having no hope at all
"I'm calling today to formally notify you that you no longer need to look. We have found what we were looking for."
"Found it Impossible, we are the largest and most authoritative institution in China. All official channels, if we could find it, we wouldn't miss it."
"Regarding the payment, I will have someone settle it with you."
"It's not about the money... Miss Fei, you wouldn't go looking for a black market workshop, would you"
"That's illegal..."
"Rest assured, we don't do illegal things. We are not a black workshop, but a legitimate channel."
"How is that possible..."
She had nothing more to say, unilaterally ending the call and leaving the woman's voice on the other end frantic and abruptly cut off.
Jian Mo Bai didn't know what he was feeling at the moment, staring blankly at the person by his bedside... He once thought she was too unfeeling and cold-blooded, only to realize that privately, she had done so much for him. She just never said it.
Jian Mo's mouth grew increasingly bitter... It was true, his younger sister—Jian Tong—never boasted about her accomplishments; she simply did and remained silent.
He remembered again his mother's curses in his ear, cursing his sister as heartless and cruel, cursing her black heart, cursing her to a miserable end.
"Little one, I..." He wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the words.
"Brother, you're going to live." She smiled, standing up..Shen Xiujing! How could you be so cruel!Her eyes were red-rimmed, her pale lips curving into a smile... At this moment, she was just a joke!"What, Mrs. Shen I don't care at all! One Mrs. Shen wants m...